So these past few weeks have been incredibly hard, partly for good reason and partly because I’m a brat. I have been so overwhelmed with school and work and friends and lack of time, resources, and good food. The thing that I have been missing incredibly much is nature. I live in Tempe, Arizona and it is without any nature other than a gross tree that they planted so my ENTIRE world isn’t concrete… I have been so focused and so stressed out by missing things that I become overwhelmed and my stomach hurts for days and I have a break down. That has happened at least once a week since I came back from Czech.
Well….TODAY is so much better. I’m not even kidding. This is the first day that I woke up and was excited about anything. I was just so happy that I woke up and it was raining and a new day. I feel like I woke up so refreshed and ready. Walking around ASU campus today I had a great revelation that is totally from God. I was just thanking Him for the rain and the day and I felt so blessed by it. I felt like I have been such a brat thinking that I deserve nature and I deserve great food and all of these things that I felt like I was missing out on by being here. It was incredibly humbling thinking that I did not deserve this rain and clouds, but God knows how much I love it all. I do not need all of those things that I feel like I’m missing out on, and yet God gives me rain and everything is better.
Today has been so stress free, one of the first days in weeks, and I am so joyful that it’s weird!! But a good weird. One of those divine weirds. Basically I am so thankful and starting to see that I have been having a sense of entitlement that is causing me to be anxious and unhappy where I am.
Rain can do a lot for a person. SO THANKFUL.